Why it’s good to let your head sit in the clouds.

Have you ever had one of those moments where you get stuck in your own head?

Where every thought seems to compete for attention. Where the noise drowns out your ability to think clearly. Where you can’t quite see the way forward because you’re too deep in the problem.

It can happen anywhere.

At home, when you’re weighing up a decision that could change life for you and your family. At work, when you’re trying to solve a complex challenge involving competing priorities, personalities and perspectives.

Or perhaps it’s after spending a little too much time scrolling. We often talk about social media creating comparison. And, let’s be honest, LinkedIn can be just as good at inviting imposter syndrome. Whatever the cause, we’ve all experienced that feeling of not being able to see the forest for the trees.

So how do you quieten the mind?

How do you step back when your thoughts are racing? How do you find enough space to think, reflect and make sense of what’s swirling around in your head? Ironically, I recently found that space 32,000 feet in the air.

Like many business travellers, I’d boarded the plane with ambitious plans. I had work to do, documents to review and ideas to develop. Then I realised there was no Wi-Fi.

At first, I was frustrated. Then something unexpected happened.

Without emails, notifications or the temptation to fill every spare minute, my mind slowly became quieter. The clouds outside the window became a reminder that sometimes the best thing we can do is stop trying to push through the forest and instead rise above it. Of course, we don’t all get the luxury of disconnecting on a flight every week.

I, like so many of you, I'm sure are ticking all the right boxes. Working hard at looking after our mindset. Exercising, eating well, investing in continuous learning and trying to sleep well. This is typically the recipe to a growth mindset, right?! But I’ve learnt something important. Even with the best habits, we can’t always think our way through our own challenges. Sometimes, we need someone else.

This lesson found me twice in the same week.

The first time, a close friend helped me find my way into the clouds. To imagine possibilities instead of problems. They used what we jokingly call “the mirror exercise”, asking me the very questions I would normally ask others.

They didn’t offer advice.

They didn’t solve the problem.

They simply reflected it back to me with thoughtful questions and genuine curiosity. It was the first time in a long while that someone had instinctively done that for me.

A few days later, my role was reversed. I found myself being that person for someone else.

As I listened, I realised something. When people are lost in the forest, they don’t need you to become their map.

They need you to create enough space for them to draw their own.

The temptation is always to jump in with solutions. To share our experience. To tell people what we’d do. Solicited or unsolicited advice is not necessarily the answer. Some of the most influential conversations happen when we resist that urge. And, instead, we ask another question.

We listen.

We allow silence.

We stay curious.

At first, the answers can be messy. People stumble through half-finished thoughts and ideas that don’t quite make sense. But if you are patient, keep listening and allow them the space and time to keep talking, something begins to shift.

Their words become clearer.

Their thinking becomes more structured.

You can almost see it in their body language.

The clouds begin to part.

The sunny skies appear.

It doesn’t necessarily mean the outcome has changed. The decision may still be difficult. The challenge may still exist. But clarity changes everything. Because once we can see clearly, we can solve problems with intention rather than emotion.

I’ve come to believe this is one of the most overlooked skills in leadership, mentoring and engagement.

It’s not having all the answers. It’s creating the conditions where someone else can find their own.

Sometimes that means helping them climb above the trees.

Sometimes it means sitting with them in the clouds.

Either way, you’ll be surprised how often the sunshine is already there. You just needed a different perspective to see it.